Life First, Outlook Second: Dispelling The Positive Thinking Myth

We talk about changing our outlook to change our lives. All it takes is positive thinking, and everything will start to work itself out. But, for many of us, changing our outlook does barely anything to improve our lives. As such, we slip back into old habits and negative ways of thinking. That’s why we’ve decided to flip the issue on its head. Instead of changing outlook first, we’re going to look at how changing your life can make the most difference. Life first, outlook second; it may be the only way!

But, why should this advice be any better? For one, focusing on changing your outlook is lazy. Not that you’re lazy, of course. But, the people who claim this is the way to change your life definitely are. Changing outlook requires no more effort than smiling when someone walks all over you. The situation doesn’t change. Sure, you’re smiling, but is that enough? Changing your life will have much more impact. Instead of smiling when that negative friend puts you down, tell them how you feel. You could even remove them from your friendship group. Much better all round, right? And, here are some other examples of when changing your life first is the way to go.



TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

People who claim outlook is everything can cause damage. These theorists fail to account for the importance of looking after yourself. You’ll be so busy pretending to be happy about rubbish things that you won’t have the time! But, when thinking about changing your life to change your outlook, this is a step you need to take.

For one, you need to make sure you’re getting enough sleep. If you’re tired, even a positive outlook won’t help. If this is something you struggle with, it may be worth looking at reviews on a site like ChooseMattress and treating yourself to a new mattress. It’ll make all the difference. Eating right is also important here. The food you eat has a massive influence on you mentality. If you’re struggling to get a grip on well-being, a change in diet may be in order!

 

LEAVE THAT JOB

Positive out-lookers claim that, if you’re unhappy at work, you need to reassess. They may urge you to stop seeing it as a chore. Instead, embrace opportunities and be grateful for what you’ve got. If you’re unhappy with work, a change of thinking isn’t going to help. It won’t ease the stress or help you find fulfilment. Again, this change is short-term. Once the rose tinted glasses wear off, things will be the same. Instead, we urge you to change your life. All it takes is finding a new job. Okay, so that may not be the easiest thing in the world. It takes a lot of courage. But, it’s a novelty that won’t wear off. Don’t settle for a job you hate and try to be happy about it. Find a job you love and reap the rewards


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

Kendall Kyndall Summer ’17 Pop Culture and Summer Tour

kendall-kyndall-summer-17-tour.jpg

I am so excited to be apart of this tour on their LA stop! Kendall Kyndall is a hilarious well known Instagram comedian who I stalk on a regular for his funny IG videos, so I can't wait for this event.

Read on below to find out more details and to see if it will be coming to a city near you...


(Dallas, TX – June 6, 2017) – Sheer Luxe Group announces the Summer ‘17 Tour hosted by social media superstar Kendall Kyndall. The Celebration of Pop Culture and Summer will hit six cities over the course of two-month period and will feature music, exclusive vendors, fashion exhibits, & more. Not to mention, Kyndall will be accompanied by a few of his friends making the tour into a pop culture powerhouse. 

Featured musical performances will include Sam Lao and Rikki Blu of Dallas, TX, both artists have made headlines for their eccentric music and performing styles. Tickets are available with the tour will make stops in New York City (July 16), DMV (July 23), Atlanta (July 30), Houston (August 6), Dallas (8/13), and Los Angeles (August 20). This event is designed to bring together lovers of music and pop culture to socialize with the added sense of humor that can only be provided by their “best fran”.

Kendall Kyndall is a native of Flint, Michigan and got started making comedic, commentary Instagram videos in late 2015 from the comfort of his living room. What started as a single video to highlight a funny moment he saw on hit VH1 series “Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood” turned into a weekly date night on Monday nights for fans around the world. He began doing weekly commentary about the cast, the production, and the story lines of not only the “Love and Hip Hop” franchise, but several other shows that appear on the network. Within a matter of months, he began reaching new heights and an even larger following. With over 300,000 Instagram followers and millions of views on Facebook, fans dubbed him their “Best Fran”, a term he for sure takes with so much appreciation.

Sam Lao has been named one of Dallas’ musical darlings and “Best Music Act” in 2014 by D Magazine, while Rikki Blu’s 2016 single “All In” was sponsored by Sprite and he was featured at the brand’s Purveyors of Urban Reality campaign.  

 

For more information about the Summer Seventeen Tour visit: https://summerseventeentour.com/

For more information about Sheer Luxe Group: http://www.sheerluxegroup.com/

How To Approach the Subject of Addiction with a Loved One

Have you noticed the tell-tale signs that someone is suffering from an addiction? Perhaps you have picked up on subtle yet worrying habits? Is a friend or family member being evasive? Other signs of a secret problem include frequent lies, major changes in energy levels, a loss of interest in the things they used to love, a change in appearance, memory loss, and stealing. If you have noticed any of these signs and you believe that someone you love is suffering from an addiction, it is important to get them the help they need. However, this is a lot easier said than done. Merely bringing up the subject is difficult, as you don’t want the person to react in a bad way. Plus, there is always the worry that you have got it wrong. So, how do you approach the subject of addiction with a loved one?

  • Get the timing right - One of the most important things when talking about any type of serious matter is getting the timing right. You could arrange a day out with the person so that you get to spend some quality time together, and then bring the subject up towards the end of the day. Don’t dive right in, as they will assume that is the only reason you invited them in the first place. It is also important to make sure the person is as clear-headed as possible. Otherwise, you run the risk of them becoming defensive and angry, plus it is likely that they may not even remember the conversation.

  • Ease into the conversation - You need to approach a conversation like this gently. You can ask your friend or family member what they have been up to lately or what plans they have for the coming weekend. This enables you to set up the conversation.

  • Be careful with your suggestions - Don’t tell the person what they need to do; no one wants to be made to feel like a child. You need to leave the ball in their court, or at least make it feel like you are. For example, you could tell them that you know a clinic with really good suboxone doctors and leave them the details for it. This approach - that you are not judging them but you care about their health and well-being - will typically be better received. The person is likely to be in pain, both physically and emotionally, so this is something they may really think about. Once you feel the person is ready to address their issues, you can then suggest that they join a support group that is tailored to their specific addiction.

  • Avoid accusatory language - You need to tread very carefully when it comes to the language you use. If you are someone that doesn’t tend to think before they speak, give yourself a moment before you say anything. If you accuse the person of having a problem or you belittle them, they are only going to end up getting defensive. Don’t say things like “you have been really angry lately” or “you have missed a lot of work.” It will only make them feel small.

  • Set boundaries - It is really important to set boundaries, not only for your own protection, but also to let your loved one know that their addiction is impacting the relationship you have. For example, if you have children, you can tell the person that you love them very much, but you can’t have them around your kids while this addiction is on-going. After all, we all want to set good examples for our children, and you need to protect them first and foremost.

  • Don’t press the issue - It can be very frustrating is someone says they don’t have a problem, and you know that they do. However, if you keep hammering it home, they are only going to get more and more defensive. You have said what you needed to say, let it settle in, and then see what happens. It could be that the person goes home and reflects on the conversation and then comes back to you for help. If not, you will need to try and broad the subject again at a later date.

 

All in all, there is no denying that the subject of addiction is one of the most difficult ones to talk about with someone you love. However, if you suspect that someone is suffering from any type of addiction, it is important that they get the help they need. Use the tips mentioned above, and hopefully, you will be able to have a fruitful conversation with the person you care about and this will be the start of their recovery.


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

4 Steps To Help You Achieve Your Goals While Living In The Moment

Sometimes it can be easier to stay where you are in life, even if you aren't happy. This is because moving forward and changing things can be tough. Especially when the future is never totally guaranteed. But there are some things that can help you forge into your own future. Just keep reading to find out what they are.

 

Setting goals

First of all, a good session of goal setting can really help you forge into the future with some gusto. But be warned, any old goals will not do in this instance. In fact, your goals have to be right to allow you to get where you want to go.

For instance, if you want to lose weight this is fine as an overall aim. But it’s not something that tells you what you need to do and for how long, and that is what you need in a good goal.

 Therefore you need to make your goals specific. As in how much weight you want to lose. As well as timed, so when you want to lose it by. It can also help to keep you motivated when things get tough to remind yourself of the relevance of your goal in the first place.

 

Getting guidance

Next, a good way of making it easier to achieve the future that you want is to get some guidance about what you are doing. You may choose to get this advice from an expert in the field that you are focusing on. Such as a business entrepreneur, a teacher, or a life coach.

If you are someone who believes in those who may be able to "foresee the future," you could consult a psychic chat line, or friends to help you gain clarity on what decisions you should make to move forwards. Sometimes just talking things through with another person can help you clarify your aims in life.

 

Learning enjoy the now

The next thing that can make our future a little easier is learning to enjoy what you have right now at the moment. That’s right, sometimes we can be so focused on the things that we will get and achieve in the future that we forget totally to enjoy what we have now, which is pretty silly, because you could have lots of great things going on, but you end up missing them all because you are so concerned with meeting your goals.

However, learning meditation and gratitude practices can help with this. As they can assist you in pulling your attention back into the present and appreciating what you have right now.

 

Discussing your future with your significant other

Of course, whether you are in a new or well-established relationship, if you are part of a couple or a family it's not just your own future that you have to be concerned about, as whatever you do affects your loved ones as well. So you need to discuss your plans before embarking on them with your significant other.

Hopefully, they will be supportive of the things that you want in the future. But if there is some disagreement then it's best to get an understanding of where the other person is coming from and what they will compromise on. So then you have clear expectations of what your future together will look like.

How goals do you have in place to help you meet your goals?


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

Forever ATL: Top 5 Places to Visit + Church's Chicken Loves Atlanta

You know, sometimes you don't appreciate something until your gone and that is how I'm feeling these days about my beloved Atlanta.

ATLANTA, the young entrepreneur capital.... the culture jet setter and the music maven dominating the airways these days... DAMN, how I miss thee.

Atlanta is the epitome of DOPE- dope people, dope style and dope places to be and be scene at....

1. Little 5 Points

This is one of my fav places to visit when I want to get creative inspiration or vintage shop. I love the eclectic vibe and style of L5P, especially when you have the musicians and artists out promoting their work.

2. Ponce City Market

One of the newest editions that ATL has to offer, the Ponce City Marketplace is an accumulation of restaurants and shops that is sure to satisfy your hunger and splurging desires. I love to go here and try the amazing food (each time, I pick a different food stand to try). This is the hot spot, especially during the weekday lunch time.

3. Piedmont Park

This is one of the hearts of the city and what brings many together for concerts, events and fun sports activities. With my fitness company- GET SEXI NUTRITION, we would take our clients there all of the time for fun boot camp activities. 

4. Fernbank Museum

fernbank-museum.jpg

As a graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Classical Civilization, you should already know that museums are my thing. What I love about the Fernbank is that it has an observatory and a planetarium, as well as being the home to the largest dinosaurs ever discovered. My favorite time visiting was when the had the Egyptian Mummy Exhibit.... ahh yes!!

FUN FACT: I was punked and it was filmed for The Carbonaro Effect show here. So embarrassing lol.

5. Atlantic Station

Your one stop shop for dining, shopping, movies and family friendly events. Who doesn't come here? From shopping to photo shoots for my blog, I have done it all at this place. In the winter, it is the hot spot for ice skating with the family, friends or your significant other. It reminds you of one of those little fake towns that you see, but nothing is fake about Atlantic Station. When I come here, I always have to indulge in one of my guilty pleasures- ice cream from the famous Kilwin's!! 


#CHURCHSLOVESATLANTA

churchs-chicken.jog

Church's Chicken has been a supporter of the Atlanta community for years through different community activities like Church's Scholar program that gives back to high school seniors. Church's also raised over a quarter of a million dollars for the No Kid Hungry initiative in 2016 which provides meals to children in need.

See how Church's LOVES Atlanta (here) and watch the heart touching video of how they put on for the city.

churchs-chicken.jpg

Also make sure you take advantage of this meal deal exclusively at Atlanta locations...

Atlanta Meal Deal: 8pc Shrimp and 5 hush Puppy Bites at $3.99
Atlanta Meal Deal: 2pc Fish and 5 hush puppy bites at $3.79

 

Disclaimer: This post is sponosred by Church's Chicken, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.


LET'S GET SOCIAL....

New Relationship? Tips to Keep Yourself Healthy

Happy 2017!!

It's the time of year where we all try to start the year right with our new years resolutions, that hopefully this will be the year that we are consistent. For me, while I don't have any resolutions, I would hopefully like to start a relationship with someone special. 

When it comes to seeing someone new, there’s one awkward topic that most of us shy away from, and that’s our intimate health. It’s funny that it’s such as issue to discuss, as it’s just another part of being healthy, but even so, it’s one conversation that a lot of us dread having with our new partners. However, we shouldn’t, as if we want to ensure that we are able to keep ourselves healthy, we need to be brave and talk about our intimate health.

To make it an easier topic to discuss, below are some tips and ideas. Take note and implement these, and you can ensure that you stay healthy when seeing someone new.

 

Be direct and straight to the point

When it comes to talking to your partner about your intimate health and staying healthy, it’s important to be direct and straight to the point. Don’t beat around the bush and skirt around the issue, just be honest with your partner and tell them that you want to make sure that you both put your health first. It might be an uncomfortable conversation to have, but if you’re in a new relationship, it’s one that is a must!

 

Agree to both get tested

If you are going to take things any further, it’s a good idea to agree to both get tested to make sure that you’re both healthy and free of any STDs. As the last thing you want is for someone to have an STD and pass it onto the other person. If you're wondering what STD testing is and what’s involved, there’s no need to stress - you can find out everything that you need to know online. Take the time to read up about what’s involved in different STD tests, so that both you and your partner know what to expect.

 

Be open about the results

Before undergoing testing, agree to be open with each other about the results. If someone has a positive result for an STD, sharing it can be awkward and embarrassing, but it’s part of being in a relationship. So before undergoing testing, make a pact to tell each other your results, no matter what they might be. The good news is that most STD are treatable, and those that aren’t treatable are manageable, so no matter what the results show, knowing that could provide ease. 

 

Consider your birth control options

Once you’ve both been tested for STDs, the next step is to talk about your birth control options (if applicable). There are plenty of options to choose from; it’s just a case of determining what is best for you. If you’re someone who tends to be forgetful, the contraceptive pill may not be suitable, but the implant may be a good option. If you’re unsure about what the best option is for you, take the time to speak to your doctor to get the advice that you need.


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

 

 

 

 

 

Be A Friend For A Friend In Need

I’m sure you and your best friend will have already been through thick and thin together. You will know exactly how to cheer each other up, and will have dished out plenty of life advice to one another. So what happens when your friend is going through a difficult period that will take a lot more than a girly chat to fix? You will no doubt want to be there for her and support her through this tough time. However, things are slightly more serious this time. So you will need to be extra sensitive and understand that your friend needs a lot of support from you right now. As everyone says, ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed.’ So here is how you can be there for your bestie during her time of need.

Touch Base With Them

First of all, be sure to give them a quick call as soon as you hear the news that they aren’t coping so well at the minute. This is especially important if you don’t hear the news from them directly. Just letting them know that you are thinking of them could be enough to cheer them up, even if it is just momentarily. This will stop them from feeling alone or alienated. You should also let them know that they can get in touch with you whenever they feel like talking to anyone.

 

Listen To Them

When your friend does decide it is the time to talk about their issues, you should be a good listener. Make sure that you do not interrupt them when they are telling you their story. You should give your friend as much time as they need to get everything out. However, if they don’t want to tell you everything just yet, do not press them for more information. They will let you know more when they are ready. Right now, it’s important to be there to listen to your friend while they get things off their chest.

Help Them Make Decisions

When going through testing times, we all often find it hard to make up our minds. This is usually because we are not thinking straight. So when you are chatting with your friend, you should help her to make any decisions that she is struggling with. This is especially important if your friend appears to be confused. These could be small decisions, such as deciding what to eat for dinner. But they may also be life-changing decisions, like whether to stay in a relationship. In this case, don’t sway your friend too much in her decisions. Just make sure she can see both sides of the argument very clearly before she makes up her mind.

 

Get Them Help

There might be some situations in which your friend needs professional help. For example, maybe she is suffering from mental health issues or is fighting an addiction. If you think that your friend could benefit from seeking professional help, let her know. Your friend may need to be persuaded before she agrees to see a doctor or other health professional. But just let her know that it is for her own good. In some cases, it may be necessary to find them a rehab center, such as the Beachway Therapy Center.

 

Understand That Emotions Can Change

Our emotions and moods are just like waves. We may be feeling one thing only for that feeling to completely change the next minute. One feeling could be replaced with a completely different one. So you need to expect your friend to experience a whole range of emotions and feelings. Be prepared for everything. You need to be supportive when the tears come and comforting during the times she gets angry.

Patience Is Key

Your friend won’t feel better instantly. This is a process that takes a lot of time. But, if you follow all the advice in this blog, you can be sure that you are giving your friend the best possible chance to get better. Remember that everyone’s healing process is unique to them, and your friend’s might take a prolonged period of time.

 

Encourage Everyday Activities

The easiest way for your friend to get over her current situation is to continue with her everyday routine whenever possible. Just remember that they may need your help to continue their routine in the beginning.


This is going to be a very hard time for your friend. But if you are always there for them, they will find it a lot easier to cope.


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

Celebrate The Seasons: Fun Things To Do Between Winter and Fall

At a certain point each year you suddenly look up and think, when did it become fall? It happens so slowly and almost imperceptibly. Summer melts away and makes way for crisp, bright days gradually getting shorter and darker.

When we’re busy, it’s easy to miss or ignore these changes, but there are many well-documented benefits of living in the moment and noticing what’s going on around you. As you live out the last few weeks of summer, contemplate some of these activities to ease you into the winter months.

 

1. Go For A Long Walk

Walks have become so underrated, which is such a shame. There’s nothing better than a bracing walk on a Sunday morning, followed by lunch at a country bar. Drive out of the city, leave the car and appreciate everything nature has to offer. Notice the changing colors of plants and trees. Appreciate the smell of fall and everything it brings with it. 

 

2. Take Out Your Fall Wardrobe

While we don’t all have the luxury of a separate wardrobe for each season, we usually have a few key pieces that we set aside. Dig out your fall and winter outfits and get them ready for the coming months. Launder everything carefully. Until it’s time to put away your summer clothes, introduce a few warm woolens to throw on in the chilly evenings. Make any fall outfit fashion-forward by slipping on fabulously warm down layer.

 

3. Go Food Shopping

Go grocery shopping on a weekend morning and look for new seasonal produce. Or better yet, head out to a local farmers’ market. There are many good reasons to eat seasonal food:

  • Food is at its best in terms of taste, color, and texture when it is in season

  • By eating seasonal food, you are reducing the air miles required to ship in food that is no longer in season in your locality

  • It increases your knowledge of where food is coming from and how it is prepared

  • It adds depth and flavor to your cooking

  • It adds variety and stops you getting stuck in a food rut

 

4. Treat Your Hair

After the ravages of summer, your hair needs time to recover. Exposure to sunlight, sea, sand and swimming pool chemicals can weaken it. Treat yourself to a deep conditioning treatment and get a head and neck massage at the same time. Experiment with some new hairstyles. Party season will soon be upon us, and there will be lots of dates and parties with friends.

5. Update Your Makeup

It’s time to transition your makeup from summer to fall. In the winter months, our skin can become drier and appear duller. Therefore, your beauty products and makeup need to combat this. Update your base layer and color palette.

 

 

There are no rules, of course, and how or if you make changes between seasons is down to personal preference. But it makes sense to change. After all, it is part of our genetic makeup to adapt. Pick out the activities that appeal to you and will enhance your life in some way.


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

Break The Mold With These Wedding Planning Tips

Let’s be honest… it can sometimes be hard to tell one wedding day from the next! In 2016, there are definitely certain trends and patterns that you see over and over. It could be that you want traditional; after all, you’ll only get a wedding day once (hopefully!). However, if you want to break the mold, more power to you!

Avoid having a copycat wedding day with the following hints, tips, and ideas. Get inspired by reading on…

Break The Mold… Do It In An Unusual Venue

Churches, barns and marques are, in 2016, so overdone. Break the mold with your wedding venue by doing it in an unusual location. If you can guarantee great weather, how about a clearing in the forest. Live near the sea? Knock on the door on a lighthouse and ask if you can borrow their grounds for a day. A cliff-top ceremony will make for some incredible photographs and views! Are you getting married in a city center? Then how about a local music venue, or a theatre? The world is yours boo!

 

Break The Mold… Focus On The Videographer, Not The Photographer

Up until a decade or so ago, the photographer was the best way to capture the day. This is still true to a certain extent. However, they still only can capture the day in still life. So, how about mixing things up. You can still have a photographer, sure, but how about focusing on a videographer instead? That way, you have a short film of the day to treasure forever. There will be lots of parts of your special day that you won’t get to see for yourself. Take all of your guests first arriving at your venue, for example! Also, don’t forget that you can always take stills from the video footage also.

 

Break The Mold… Revert Back To Traditional, Personalized Invites

In this case, you’d be breaking the mold by returning to an old tradition. One that is slowly but surely becoming less popular. Sending personalized wedding invitations, of course! As the whole world moves online, there is a growing trend to invite people via social media. This might be with E-invites, or with a Facebook group. But your wedding invitation is your first impression of the day that you are giving your loved ones. Plus, who doesn’t love receiving mail that isn’t a bill!

 

Break The Mold… Rock A Colored Wedding Dress

White, ivory and cream dresses are beautiful yes. But is that really what you want? If so, great, go for it, but if you think you might want to be adventurous and something different, have the confidence to go for it. It is your wedding day, so nobody should tell you what you can or can’t wear! Wanna wear a huge, royal blue dress? Go for it! Want to wear something silky, red and floor-length? Why not! Your wedding day is your wedding day. Rules are there to be broken, and traditions are there to take or leave!


LET'S GET SOCIAL...

Love Groupon Deals? You'll Love their New Coupons Even More!

DISCLAIMER: This is a sponsored post, but all thoughts and opinion are my own.


Everybody loves a good Groupon. Mainly because you can get up to half off or more off your favorite local deals or destination travel finds. I myself, will always look to Groupon to see if there is a deal for a new restaurant  that I want to try out (because if I don’t like it, I know I didn’t spend an arm and a leg) or if they have deals on events/concerts or just to shop for things I like (electronics, home goods, etc).

If you love Groupon as much as I do, you’ll be excited to know that they now have online coupons that you can at some of your favorite retailers. From hotel to clothing savings, there is something there for everyone. Below are a few of my favorites…. 

  • FOOTLOCKER: $20 off w/ code

  • TARGET: $15 off

  • AMERICAN APPAREL: 25% off student discount

  • BARNES & NOBLE: 2 books for $20

FYI: Last Call by Neiman Marcus is having a Memorial Day sale + other savings you can check out here… LAST CALL

Of course they have many other amazing savings on their website you can check out here… https://www.groupon.com/coupons

HAPPY COUPONING!!


LET'S GET SOCIAL....