As a holistic life and dating coach for women 30+, and a gal happy in love who is becoming a second-time bride, I know that your love needs and priorities are not the same as they were in your 20s.
I also know that relationships formed during this time are far more fulfilling than any you had in your earlier years. To find these great relationships, you have to have a new way of thinking than before.
Here is some free winning advice that will set you up for successful "grown-up" dating and ultimately lead you to that man who will be your loving partner in the second chapter of your life.
1. Know and love yourself. When was the last time you looked at yourself without the lens of your wounded 18 year old, your ex's judgments or the nonsense the media feeds you? Take 20 minutes today and allow yourself to think about what makes you fantastic. Give yourself permission to brag. I bet you find quite a lovely woman hiding behind all the muck others have been feeding you.
2. Know what you want. Who is the person and what is the relationship that will make you happy as the woman you are today? If you are looking for a meaningful and lasting relationship, dump that list of superficial adjectives he "must" possess and the descriptions of activities you want to share. Instead, dig deeper. Consider how you want to feel when you are with him. This is what really matters when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
3. Accept that the responsibility is yours. You are a mature woman who most likely steers your own ship in all other areas of your life.That blame-the-men thing is old and no longer serves you. Start making good decisions and taking care of yourself by using your ability to weigh options, make complex decisions and exercise your assertiveness. You probably do this every day with your career, your family, even with the dry cleaner; dealing with single men should be no exception.
4. Check your baggage. Failed marriages, health issues, pain in the butt teenage kids…these all get thrown into the mix when meeting men in this age range. It's likely you share some same experiences - divorce for instance - and it's tempting to bond on this. Don't! These are topics that will send you into negative and potentially unflattering discussion. These can be shared, but in the spirit of putting your best foot forward, there's no need to drag these in as soon as you meet.
5. Dump the anger. The majority of men you're going to meet are not the jerks you used to date. Like you, they have grown up and learned a lot. Don't treat the man sitting in front of you like the guy who dumped you, lied to you or cheated on you. If you ARE attracting a lot of jerks, it's time for self-reflection. We are living magnets. You attract what you are, not what you think you deserve.
6. Be a warm, inviting lady. You've been taking care of yourself a long time and are just fine being single. Congratulations. You no longer have anything to prove. Knock off the "I don't need a man" mantra and let a man into your life. Every man you meet is unique. Give him a chance by being open and kind…until he gives you reason to be otherwise. The good guys are looking for a woman they can impress and please. A real lady knows how to let them. If you learn how to do this, you will always attract top notch gentlemen every time.
An "attractive" feminine woman is meant to give a masculine man reason to live, to work, to provide, to conquer!
So you must start with your habits, thought patterns and free yourself so that you can be more in your true feminine core.
Connect with other women getting on track with their love goals. Join us this season at our life enhancement seminars and workshops.
1.) The Purpose Driven Single- Finding Love & Happiness
http://purposedrivensingle.doattend.com/ (2 Spots Left)
2.) "Coffee Date Connections" Finding Your BEST 1st Date
(1 Spot Left) http://coffeedates911.doattend.com/
3.) Get Married This Year (How to Find "the one" FAST)
Part 1- http://marriedthisyear.doattend.com/ (1 Spot Left)
Part 2- http://takingthefield.doattend.com/ (FULL)
4.) "Boost Your Appeal" WINNING Image Consultations (Hair, Eyes, Face)
Written by guest contributor
Art Cathey (Life & Date Coach)