How To Approach the Subject of Addiction with a Loved One

Have you noticed the tell-tale signs that someone is suffering from an addiction? Perhaps you have picked up on subtle yet worrying habits? Is a friend or family member being evasive? Other signs of a secret problem include frequent lies, major changes in energy levels, a loss of interest in the things they used to love, a change in appearance, memory loss, and stealing. If you have noticed any of these signs and you believe that someone you love is suffering from an addiction, it is important to get them the help they need. However, this is a lot easier said than done. Merely bringing up the subject is difficult, as you don’t want the person to react in a bad way. Plus, there is always the worry that you have got it wrong. So, how do you approach the subject of addiction with a loved one?

  • Get the timing right - One of the most important things when talking about any type of serious matter is getting the timing right. You could arrange a day out with the person so that you get to spend some quality time together, and then bring the subject up towards the end of the day. Don’t dive right in, as they will assume that is the only reason you invited them in the first place. It is also important to make sure the person is as clear-headed as possible. Otherwise, you run the risk of them becoming defensive and angry, plus it is likely that they may not even remember the conversation.

  • Ease into the conversation - You need to approach a conversation like this gently. You can ask your friend or family member what they have been up to lately or what plans they have for the coming weekend. This enables you to set up the conversation.

  • Be careful with your suggestions - Don’t tell the person what they need to do; no one wants to be made to feel like a child. You need to leave the ball in their court, or at least make it feel like you are. For example, you could tell them that you know a clinic with really good suboxone doctors and leave them the details for it. This approach - that you are not judging them but you care about their health and well-being - will typically be better received. The person is likely to be in pain, both physically and emotionally, so this is something they may really think about. Once you feel the person is ready to address their issues, you can then suggest that they join a support group that is tailored to their specific addiction.

  • Avoid accusatory language - You need to tread very carefully when it comes to the language you use. If you are someone that doesn’t tend to think before they speak, give yourself a moment before you say anything. If you accuse the person of having a problem or you belittle them, they are only going to end up getting defensive. Don’t say things like “you have been really angry lately” or “you have missed a lot of work.” It will only make them feel small.

  • Set boundaries - It is really important to set boundaries, not only for your own protection, but also to let your loved one know that their addiction is impacting the relationship you have. For example, if you have children, you can tell the person that you love them very much, but you can’t have them around your kids while this addiction is on-going. After all, we all want to set good examples for our children, and you need to protect them first and foremost.

  • Don’t press the issue - It can be very frustrating is someone says they don’t have a problem, and you know that they do. However, if you keep hammering it home, they are only going to get more and more defensive. You have said what you needed to say, let it settle in, and then see what happens. It could be that the person goes home and reflects on the conversation and then comes back to you for help. If not, you will need to try and broad the subject again at a later date.

 

All in all, there is no denying that the subject of addiction is one of the most difficult ones to talk about with someone you love. However, if you suspect that someone is suffering from any type of addiction, it is important that they get the help they need. Use the tips mentioned above, and hopefully, you will be able to have a fruitful conversation with the person you care about and this will be the start of their recovery.


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Be A Friend For A Friend In Need

I’m sure you and your best friend will have already been through thick and thin together. You will know exactly how to cheer each other up, and will have dished out plenty of life advice to one another. So what happens when your friend is going through a difficult period that will take a lot more than a girly chat to fix? You will no doubt want to be there for her and support her through this tough time. However, things are slightly more serious this time. So you will need to be extra sensitive and understand that your friend needs a lot of support from you right now. As everyone says, ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed.’ So here is how you can be there for your bestie during her time of need.

Touch Base With Them

First of all, be sure to give them a quick call as soon as you hear the news that they aren’t coping so well at the minute. This is especially important if you don’t hear the news from them directly. Just letting them know that you are thinking of them could be enough to cheer them up, even if it is just momentarily. This will stop them from feeling alone or alienated. You should also let them know that they can get in touch with you whenever they feel like talking to anyone.

 

Listen To Them

When your friend does decide it is the time to talk about their issues, you should be a good listener. Make sure that you do not interrupt them when they are telling you their story. You should give your friend as much time as they need to get everything out. However, if they don’t want to tell you everything just yet, do not press them for more information. They will let you know more when they are ready. Right now, it’s important to be there to listen to your friend while they get things off their chest.

Help Them Make Decisions

When going through testing times, we all often find it hard to make up our minds. This is usually because we are not thinking straight. So when you are chatting with your friend, you should help her to make any decisions that she is struggling with. This is especially important if your friend appears to be confused. These could be small decisions, such as deciding what to eat for dinner. But they may also be life-changing decisions, like whether to stay in a relationship. In this case, don’t sway your friend too much in her decisions. Just make sure she can see both sides of the argument very clearly before she makes up her mind.

 

Get Them Help

There might be some situations in which your friend needs professional help. For example, maybe she is suffering from mental health issues or is fighting an addiction. If you think that your friend could benefit from seeking professional help, let her know. Your friend may need to be persuaded before she agrees to see a doctor or other health professional. But just let her know that it is for her own good. In some cases, it may be necessary to find them a rehab center, such as the Beachway Therapy Center.

 

Understand That Emotions Can Change

Our emotions and moods are just like waves. We may be feeling one thing only for that feeling to completely change the next minute. One feeling could be replaced with a completely different one. So you need to expect your friend to experience a whole range of emotions and feelings. Be prepared for everything. You need to be supportive when the tears come and comforting during the times she gets angry.

Patience Is Key

Your friend won’t feel better instantly. This is a process that takes a lot of time. But, if you follow all the advice in this blog, you can be sure that you are giving your friend the best possible chance to get better. Remember that everyone’s healing process is unique to them, and your friend’s might take a prolonged period of time.

 

Encourage Everyday Activities

The easiest way for your friend to get over her current situation is to continue with her everyday routine whenever possible. Just remember that they may need your help to continue their routine in the beginning.


This is going to be a very hard time for your friend. But if you are always there for them, they will find it a lot easier to cope.


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Ways To Show Your Friends They're Appreciated

 

You may remember I did an article on relationship goals a little while ago. While I hope you all enjoyed it, it led me on to thinking about how little we can see our circle of friends sometimes. Obviously it’s great to be in a relationship that makes you happy, but sometimes you might feel you’ve been neglecting some of your good mates for it. It may be time to blow away the cobwebs, and remind those certain special people that they’re appreciated. Here, I’ve put together a few ideas to bring a smile to your friends’ faces.

It’s very common to feel like you’ve drifted apart from a friend you used to spend all your time with. As we grow up, work, relationships and new friends all keep us busy. But a day out with them a little outside your usual experience could be just the trick to rekindle the friendship. If you really want to pull the stops out, try something adrenaline-filled like paintballing or abseiling. These kinds of activities make for hours of fun and give you something you’ll reminisce and laugh about. The experience is even better if you’re both terrible at the activity! If that’s not your thing, there’s always museums, meals out, or even a simple walk while you catch up with each other.

No one likes ending a friendship on a down note, but we all make mistakes here and there. You’ll agree that a stupid little argument is no reason to completely cut a good friend out of your life! If you feel you’ve made a mistake, and want to rekindle your friendship through a kind gesture, there are all sorts of things you can do. Most people go with a gift, and if you’re good enough with your hands you may be able to make a really personal one that will really show you care. Of course, we can’t all be crafty goddesses, but luckily there are many fantastic gift sites out there like www.whositfor.co.uk.

As time goes on, we figure out who our real friends are. You might be focussing on a certain someone, but there are many things you can do to reunite an entire group, usually without spending much money. You may want to organize a picnic, and get everyone to prepare and bring one dish (proceed with caution if some in your group are really competitive!) Or, if the weather doesn’t permit that, no one can argue with a nice glass of wine and movies night. But the possibilities here are endless; check out the article on www.enkivillage.com for some more pointers.

 

As always, I hope my little ramble has given you some good ideas. There are all kinds of methods you could use to rekindle and strengthen your friendships, so why wait? I know how long some people can go without contact, and obviously it may feel a little strange at first. After a good laugh to break the tension, you’ll be absolutely astounded by how naturally things return to normal!


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