4 Ways To Stop Self-Sabotage in 2019

You can fail at absolutely anything in life. It’s a hard, but very real truth. You can try and try to do something you want to do, and you can fail it. This may sound like a way to get really depressed really quickly; why bother trying if you can fail? Well, you can spend your entire life worrying about the worst, but all that really matters is the choices you make right now. You can imagine an encyclopedia of ‘what if’ scenarios about the way that you choose to do things with your life, but until you try to do them, you won’t ever get anywhere. The things you REALLY want always seem out of reach: they’re not, but fear tells you that they are.

You can fail when you take the safe routes in life, checking all the boxes that people tell you that you should be checking. Career. Family. Savings. House. Wedding…..

All of these neat little boxes that people expect you to fill are the same boxes that fence you in. Some people rebel against the norms in a way that isn't always positive; turning to drugs or alcohol to escape from life. Self-sabotage in this way is different from living in the here now. Instead, this has a profound impact on your life in a way that isn't worth the risk. You can spend time going down the wrong path, with an outpatient drug rehab center in your future, or you can start succeeding at the things you are willing to take a risk on. Perhaps instead of the safe career your peers and parents have always guided you towards, you choose something you want to do instead. Perhaps instead of having children because society told you that you should, you choose not to.


You are very capable at undermining your own goals with self-sabotage, placing unnecessary limitations on your own abilities to live your dream. It’s time to stop doing that. Instead, you need to look at ways to stop your self-sabotage in 2019, and here are four ways to do just that:

  1. Figure out why you’re doing it. Some people head for sabotage without even noticing because they’re that used to it. You don’t have to be, though, even when it keeps you in your comfort zone. Once you realize why you’re going through the motions of sabotage, you can recognize the behaviors and stop.

  2. Practice positivity. In your mind, in your life, in your actions. Constantly talk to yourself in a positive way and you will drown out the negative inner voice telling you that you can’t do something, therefore you shouldn’t do it.

  3. Ignore others. Not literally, but ignore them as a benchmark to your own life. You do not have to compare yourself to someone else to be worthy of acceptance. You are wonderful; just as you are.

  4. Learn to look at your faults and mistakes and accept them. Being your own friend means you are going to practice kindness in the place that self-sabotage would once have been whispering in your ear. Ignore the voice and be the best friend you’ve ever had.



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How You Can Stand Up For Gender Equality

The tide is turning towards gender equality… slowly. Thanks to the thousands of women who marched on International Women’s Day; thanks to those who have stood up for their rights with the #MeToo movement, and thanks to all of those other campaigns advocating the rights of women in the workplace and beyond, we are seeing a change in attitude.

But there is still some way to go before equality is fully attained. Despite the example of the Arizona Secretary of State, there is still a shortage of women in politics. Millions of young girls are being forced to marry in specific countries and cultures. There is still a gender pay gap in many careers, regardless of whether these jobs are male-dominated or not. And women are still being treated like sex objects, despite the trial surrounding Harvey Weinstein.

We don’t have to accept gender inequality. As a woman, you can make a difference. Here are some of the ways you can do it.

  • Have a positive attitude. The more you can support positivity in your life and the lives of those around you, you can throw off the negative attitudes others impose upon you. Don’t let others dictate what you can and can’t do. Don’t conform to expectations. Whatever you do, be it in the educational courses you enroll in, or the jobs you apply for, don’t be afraid to go against the grain, even if others try and deter you. You are allowed the same opportunities as men, no matter what society dictates.

  • Get involved in your community. You have a voice, so use it. Rather than being dissatisfied with your lot in life as a woman, speak out and make a difference. Could you run for local government? Are there local boards or community groups you can get involved in? Could you take a stand at community meetings and raise particular issues affecting gender rights in your town? It’s about taking a stand, and while you may face opposition, surely that is better than doing nothing at all.

  • Get involved online. Take part in online forums on subjects that are relevant to you. Share your opinions on social media, and join specific groups on the issues that matter. Write a blog, bringing attention to gender inequality around the world, educating your readers on matters they may not be aware of. Contribute money to charities already making a difference. Email government officials, and add your name to those pushing for differences. And Google search ‘women’s rights’ and look at all the ways online you can make a difference.

  • Support your sisters. If you see another woman being treated unfairly in work, then do something about it. Don’t stand for workplace bullying and sexism. If you need to take matters to the top, then do so. Support the women you know who are striving to make a difference. If they organize a march or a debate, then take part. You may only be one person, but in all kinds of ways, you can support the women around you, whether they are fighting or struggling in this male-dominated society.


So, what can you do? I hope I have given you some inspiration as you fight against inequality. And if you have some ideas of your own, please let me know. As women, we need to stand together. We can make a difference, and we can start making that difference today.


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Life First, Outlook Second: Dispelling The Positive Thinking Myth

We talk about changing our outlook to change our lives. All it takes is positive thinking, and everything will start to work itself out. But, for many of us, changing our outlook does barely anything to improve our lives. As such, we slip back into old habits and negative ways of thinking. That’s why we’ve decided to flip the issue on its head. Instead of changing outlook first, we’re going to look at how changing your life can make the most difference. Life first, outlook second; it may be the only way!

But, why should this advice be any better? For one, focusing on changing your outlook is lazy. Not that you’re lazy, of course. But, the people who claim this is the way to change your life definitely are. Changing outlook requires no more effort than smiling when someone walks all over you. The situation doesn’t change. Sure, you’re smiling, but is that enough? Changing your life will have much more impact. Instead of smiling when that negative friend puts you down, tell them how you feel. You could even remove them from your friendship group. Much better all round, right? And, here are some other examples of when changing your life first is the way to go.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

People who claim outlook is everything can cause damage. These theorists fail to account for the importance of looking after yourself. You’ll be so busy pretending to be happy about rubbish things that you won’t have the time! But, when thinking about changing your life to change your outlook, this is a step you need to take.

For one, you need to make sure you’re getting enough sleep. If you’re tired, even a positive outlook won’t help. Eating right is also important here. The food you eat has a massive influence on you mentality. If you’re struggling to get a grip on well-being, a change in diet may be in order!

THE POWER OF MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness and meditation is a powerful tool that helps to transform your mood and outlook on life. Something as simple as working on breathing (to reduce stress) and staying present in the moment, maybe what your body is missing. I try to practice mindful mediation every morning before I start my day and I teach my therapy clients how to incorporate it into their daily lives. 

In addition to mindfulness, some individuals tend to seek counsel and inspiration through other forms, one being through astrology, numerology and/or finding meaning behind names which for some help them to find their purpose and meaning in life. 

LEAVE THAT JOB

Positive out-lookers claim that, if you’re unhappy at work, you need to reassess. They may urge you to stop seeing it as a chore. Instead, embrace opportunities and be grateful for what you’ve got. If you’re unhappy with work, a change of thinking isn’t going to help. It won’t ease the stress or help you find fulfillment. Again, this change is short-term. Once the rose tinted glasses wear off, things will be the same. Instead, we urge you to change your life. All it takes is finding a new job. Okay, so that may not be the easiest thing in the world. It takes a lot of courage. But, it’s a novelty that won’t wear off. Don’t settle for a job you hate and try to be happy about it. Find a job you love and reap the rewards


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How You Can Support Positivity

Do you sometimes have the feeling that, when you open the curtains to look outside in the morning, the world is still gray and sad? On TV, the news is depressively bad, and even at the office, the mood seems quite low. It’s often a race against the deadline and the boss’s temper! In other words, do you find your word too negative? For most people, the Grayness of the outside world can fade gradually until they stop noticing it. But not you. You continue to notice all the things that aren’t quite right around you. Why not decide to take the matter into your own hands and dedicate your energy to building a positive world? Positivity is a strength that everybody needs in their life, so that could certainly make a great deal of difference. But, you object, how am I going to build positivity on top of my job? Well, that’s easy. You could pick a career path that creates a positive outcome.

Why do we need more positivity?

Life seems to be surrounded by negativity. Pessimism is flooding the world, and worst of all is that we’re all responsible for it. The brain is designed to project potential threats and danger so that we can be warned before anything happens. That’s why, for example, anybody in their right mind stays away from running across a busy motorway. We instinctively know that it could be dangerous. That’s the role of the brain to think of negative outcomes and alert us. But this means that more and more people are brainwashed by negativity. You should adopt a positive attitude in life because it will provide you with a helpful guidance. It won’t stop your brain from seeing potential dangers, but it will also train it to see potential goodness around. Too much negativity can make you sick: Depression, isolation, and stress are tightly connected to an increase of negativity. It’s therefore important to build a positive defense to step away from negative influences gradually.

At a personal level

Start by bringing a positive force into your life. Your outlook on life can be affected by your thinking, either positive or negative. However, it may be a little too easy to suggest that all it takes is some positive thinking to improve your life. It doesn’t. What it takes to make your life better is positive changes. If you want to get rid of the negativity that surrounds you, then you need to fix the areas that attract and encourage negative thinking. For instance, if you’ve got a friend who keeps putting you down, let them know how it affects you. Or remove them from your friendship circle. It might sound a little harsh, but in the end, it’s about creating positivity in your life. In the end, building a career that generates positive outcomes means that you need to support it with a life filled with positivity. And that starts by sorting out everything that doesn’t work for you. Improve your health, your lifestyle, and reduce your stress levels. Only then can you make a positive impact on other people’s lives.

With others

A positive job is great. But working on your positivity generation is even better. In other words, you can continue your journey by changing your behavior towards others. Being nice is a difficult art that needs to feel natural. But more importantly, being nice genuinely improves the quality of life, for those who receive your kindness but for yourself too. At a professional level, being nice to people means that you are more easily trusted, and you can build strong and successful interactions with others.

Addressing the need via a health job

Embracing a health career is one of the most obvious ways to bring positivity into other people’s lives. It’s well-known that nurses and doctors are perceived as selfless individuals, as their interest is your health. But the greatest example of selflessness in almost living memory comes probably from the Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady University, when in 1911 six Sisters from France crosses the ocean to answer a healthcare call in Louisiana. They started this health system in the state to support their patients and deliver better care. Additionally, they’ve also started a school to spread their message of care and peace to new students. Today the university and the health system still exist, proof that a good deed can go a long way.

Addressing the need in education

Positivity is a skill that can make a difference in the way young people build their future. For instance, teachers and parents are responsible for helping children to discover their passions. Steve Reifman uses the Passion survey with his students to provide the encouragement they need to grow their skills and support their passions. His goal is simple: He wants kids to receive the motivation and the enthusiasm they need to learn and grow positively.

Addressing the need in the arts

There is no denying that the arts can have a significant impact on the well-being of communities. But they can also contribute to the healthy development of individuals by giving them a platform for creative learning, exchange, activism, and interactions. Using only the power of the arts, peaceful movements can be established throughout the world. Creative individuals carry the beacon of positivity in their creations, via activities with children, or exhibitions.

Addressing the need in everyday life

How about embracing the possibility of volunteering to make a direct change in the quality of life of those around you? VolunteerMatch is dedicated to bringing good and willing people with good cause together all across the world. Whether you want to become an active advocate of the human rights,or a protector of the animal cause and your job can’t help you to support these, you can find what you need on their website to create positivity around you. But more than just helping, you can also learn new skills to change your career path for good.

 

Positivity is not an impossible dream. It’s a force that you can create for you and others through your behavior, career choices and your volunteer activities. It’s never too late to bring a smile tosomeone’s face!


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